So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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