it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
