I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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