best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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