If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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