girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
