Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
