last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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