So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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