it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Is her dick bigger than yours?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
