you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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