I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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