he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I want to walk on stilts...naked
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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