My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
