oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
