I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
