Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
