so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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