Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
