I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
