Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
