I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
