laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
