Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
