He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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