I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
