When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
