4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i out mim tonsoeep
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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