For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
