problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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