ugly people sure do ruin things
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
