We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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