She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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