this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
