I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
