so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
