he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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