Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
