Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
