He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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