brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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