why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
