Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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