Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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