That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
