My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
