Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My breasts were aching with rage.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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