I don't think brook has ever known best
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
