I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
