absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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